Preparing Your Child for Divorce Serving Families Throughout Jacksonville For Over 25 Years

Preparing Your Child for Your Divorce

Guidance from an Experienced Lawyer

Talking to your children about divorce may be the most difficult part of ending your marriage. If you've reached the conclusion that divorce is the best option for your future and the future of your family, you may have to deal with the difficult process of preparing your child for divorce. No two children are alike, so each child will react differently to the changes that your family will face. However, the age of your children and other factors can help you be prepared to talk to them.

Telling Your Kids: What to Expect

Generally speaking, children are afraid that they will lose their parents if they divorce. When you tell your children that you and your spouse have decided to go your separate ways, make sure that they understand that you and your spouse will still spend time with them. Each child must understand this – explain it with your words and show them with your actions. Then, follow through with your promise. If you don't, you children may question you honesty, reliability and affection. However, you can maintain a stable relationship with your children if you continue to spend time with them.

Make a Plan and Stick to It

Ideally, you and your spouse should tell your children about your divorce together. If not, make sure that you and your spouse are in agreement about what will be said to the children. If you explain the divorce in one way and your spouse explains it differently, you children may sense this division and become confused. If you and your spouse plan on talking about the divorce separately with your children, make sure that your stories are straight. If you don't know what to say to your kids, talk to a religious advisor, counselor or schedule a time to speak with a mental health professional. These individual can help you prepare to speak with your children.

Every divorce is different. Although many divorces are relatively peaceful, others may be extremely volatile. If you and your spouse are in disagreement about your divorce, you will probably have separate conversations about it with your children. Try to reach an agreement about what you will say to your children. These conversations can be emotionally charged, frustrating and stressful, but it is important that your children understand that they will not be abandoned once your marriage is officially terminated. Hearing different stories from each parent may confuse your children and will send them conflicting messages about the divorce and the way that it will affect them.

What Not to Do

Even if your divorce is not peaceful, try to put aside any animosity you feel towards your spouse when you talk to your children. Avoid blaming your spouse for the divorce. Before you speak with your children, make sure that you and your spouse both agree to avoid blaming each other for the separation. Even though you will not be married, you children need to understand that you and your spouse can still function as parents. Your children may be afraid that they will lose their family; reassure them that this is not true. They will still have a family but it will be a different.

During the Conversation

When you tell your children that you and your spouse are getting a divorce, make sure that you are completely honest and realistic with your children. Young children may not need to know the details behind your marital problems, but they do need to know how your separation will affect their lives. Make sure that each child understands that their lives will be different after the divorce. If you tell them that everything will feel the same, they may have difficulty trusting you in the future. Avoid making promises that you can't realistically keep.

Additionally, try not to become upset or emotional while you talk to your children. Children are easy to frighten; watching a parent become hysterical, angry or upset can make them anxious. Instead, avoid emotion and speak calmly. If you become angry or dramatic during the conversation, your children may become more involved in your emotions and fail to reveal their own feelings.

Also, it is imperative that your children understand that the divorce is not their fault. Verbally tell your children that you and your spouse do not blame them for the separation. If your children do not understand this, they may assume that they caused your divorce and feel unnecessary guilt.

After Talking to Your Children

Your children may have difficulty understanding divorce. If so, you may want to involve a school counselor, social worker, relative or mental health professional. Speaking with a knowledgeable third party can help you children become more comfortable with the idea of the divorce. Additionally, make sure that your child's teachers, parents of close friends and babysitters know about your divorce.

Continue Reading Read Less

Work with Jason K.S. Porter, P.A. Pick Porter!™

If you've decided that filing for divorce is the best option for you and your family, talk to a family law attorney from Jason K.S. Porter, PA today. At the firm, we are dedicated to helping families through the tedious legal proceedings during the divorce process. We can help you resolve issues related to child custody, spousal support, and asset division.

Contact us today to see what an attorney from our firm can do for you.

A Guided, Hands-On Approach
Step-by-Step Guidance for Any Legal Matter
A Compassionate Team
Your Story Matters - We're Here to Listen
Extensive Experience
Approximately 100 Years of Combined Legal Experience On Your Side
Award-Winning Counsel
Top-Rated Ethics & Legal Skill – AV Preeminent® Rating
Trusted & Recommended
Trusted by the Media & Recommended by Our Clients
Top-Rated Attorneys
Top-Rated Personal Injury, DUI, & Criminal Defense Lawyer

Hear From Our Happy Clients

Serving Jacksonville, FL Since 2004

"They were professional, attentive, and got me an acceptable settlement in a timely manner."
I used them for a personal injury case. They were professional, attentive, and got me an acceptable settlement in a timely manner. This helped greatly to get me back on my feet financially. Thank you very much.

- Jonathan E.
"Throughout the whole process, he was responsive and dedicated and he made it seem like I was the only case he was dealing with."
I recently worked with Jonathan Thacher and am very pleased with the outcome of the case. Throughout the whole process, he was responsive and dedicated and he made it seem like I was the only case he was dealing with. He was on top of getting the necessary measure taken and the end result was outstanding. I would definitely refer anyone to him! Thank you so much, Jonathan!!

- Victoria B.
"Highly recommend this team!"
Attorney Nichole Carlucci was great to work with and her paralegal Ashley Chadwell was awesome! Highly recommend this team!

- M.F.
"The experience was just wonderful! We would recommend them 10 times over."
My fiancé and I were referred here by a friend. Our lawyer was Nicole Carlucci and paralegal was Danielle Castillo, they were beyond wonderful. Easy to communicate with, always gave us our options and never made us feel pressured. Our relationship with them was very personable and we always felt as if we were their only clients! We seeked their help with regards to child support and time sharing. The experience was just wonderful!!!!! We would recommend them 10 times over.

- Kizgel D.
"Every time I have "Picked Porter" I have received ethical advice and excellent legal representation."
I have been a client of the law firm since 2003. Every time I have "Picked Porter" I have received ethical advice and excellent legal representation. There has been times I have been referred outside of the law firm and the referrals have always been sound and very appropriate to the overall situation. The law firms family law, personal injury and criminal defense attorneys are well versed in their specialty and are very professional. If you have a problem, Pick Porter.

- Nicholas H.
"I love this law firm..."
Hi my name is Nina and I am writing this review for the public to know that Marlene Hordkin she is an excellent attorney she will go to bat for you. She is compassionate , intelligent , has morals and values she will go the distance to see that your voice is heard and that your case is presented clearly before a judge and that all the evidence is brought into light. Mrs. Hordkin is an amazing woman and an attorney and if you ever need help I suggest that you call her immediately. I want to personally thank you again Marlene you are amazing and the world needs more like you. God bless you!

- Nina B.
"So grateful for the help they gave me"
Jason and his legal team were great in handling my case, I was kept informed of everything that was going and had any and all questions answered.

- Paul Maloney
"I will definitely be using them again if I ever need to!"
First off let me say how much I love this law firm!!! My boyfriend was referred by a friend and I'm glad we listened! This was the first time we ever needed a lawyer and Richard Watson was INCREDIBLE! He knows his stuff and he doesn't settle for anything less than what we deserved! We loved talking to Bonnie when we called she was always so cheerful and helpful! I recommend YOU to choose this office!!!!!! I promise you won't be disappointed !!!! I will definitely be using them again if I ever need to!

- Sara B.

Read Reviews

Pick Porter!™ Today

A member of our team will be in touch shortly to confirm your contact details or address questions you may have.

*Motorcycle accident - $2,835,000
$1,502,500 Premises Liability - $1,502,500
Bodily Injury Claim
*Wrongful Death - $1,000,000
Settled *Estate of Fred Fedorka
Largest settlement ever against Volusia County.
*Medical Malpractice - $500,000

View All Results